Guy im dating is travelling for work
I'm not proud of what happened, but it happened. I was at a conference for work, I don't travel often and when I got back to the hotel I didn't know what to do. It was only and I didn't want to watch TV all night. I didn't plan on meeting anyone but I did want to get out of the hotel room. I went to the stages of relationships dating bar to sit at the table, read a bit and have a drink.
Last longer? Guy climax? How many times? All the painful comparisons. What did I do wrong or not enough? Is it my fault? Dating not a man? Does your husband has anything to do with the fact that you cheated? If not, you have to let him know that. Did you let him know that? I'm don't think he will get vindictive over it. If he does I guy that's worse than anything I did. What happened was a weakness of character but I didn't feel malice.
I get the insecurity stuff to a degree, but I also don't think one night wipes out 16 years. I don't think I need to get into all the details of that night with him, the important part is that I'm sorry about it. I have let him know that this wasn't about him, but I'm not sure how many different ways I need to say that. It was impulsive. Obviously it didn't happen in a moment and there were plenty of chances for me to stop it but I didn't.
Yes, during the course of the evening I started thinking about what it would be like to be with another man sexually after being with only my husband for the past 16 years. But I wasn't thinking about it from a point of view of comparision. Like I wasn't trying to judge who was better or any of that nonsense. While it was happening I honestly was not thinking about my husband, I understand that is part of the problem, but until the morning I was sort of transported outside myself.
That doesn't mean I hate my life and marriage, or my husband or any thing like that. I don't know why he has to ask me about the sex that's the last thing i'd want to know about if the role were reversed. I'd be hurt but I work think i'd want to subject myself to more pain and really come off as so insecure. Doesnt the fact that I wanted to marry him and still want to be married to him say that I like what we do in bed?
I don't even think that's an issue but I don't know how many different ways I can say for. I am willing to do what I can to make dating better but I don't see dwelling work one thing as the way to make that happen. I know that I caused all this so I am mostly upset with myself right now. To answer your question about still wanting to be married to your husband: No, it doesn't say anything about you likiing what you do in bed.
In his mind, if you liked what you were doing in bed you wouldn't have gone elsewhere. Your husband wants information so he can determine what course of action he wants to take. Your refusal to give him that information indicates a lack of transparency, which in turn travelling dishonesty. And dishonesty will certainly kill any chances of salvaging your relationship. He's probably feeling that he's been conned for the last travelling years, and for refusal to provide the answers he's seeking will suggest that you want to keep the con going.
You say that giving him the information will be more hurtful to him.
I think you're worried more about yourself and the discomfort it's going to cause you. It's not about you anymore. The ball is in his court now. You need to start being honest with him if want any hope of staying in the game. Hi Mich, you said "I don't think he will get vindictive over it. What you said might be "correct" in its own right, but be careful: this is his emotion we're talking about now, and emotion is definitely irrational.
I agree that for your husband, knowing all the details in fact might not be good for himself. You can let him know about your concern it's for his own good, and you understand his being so hurtbut it's up to him to decide. Also, you can't blame him if he becomes vindictive unless, of course, he starts to hurt you physicallyfor example, he asks for for divorce, or he starts his own affair. It might not be smart, might not be rational, it's damaging to this marriage AND maybe the kids toobut at the moment you had another man, you lost the right of telling him "you shouldn't do that".
You can say "one night doesn't wipe out 16 years," but from another angle, he can also say "so 16 years isn't enough for you to stop seeking the one night? Remember: right now you're the one at fault, you have to be prepared for his all dating of emotions if you want to save this marriage. ALF said if you don't share information your husband is seeking that's dishonesty, that you want to keep it going, and you just worry about yourself. And again and again, that's probably irrational, but it's his emotion and you can't argue with emotion.
Hi Mich - I was work your husband is now 15 months ago My wife of 20 years had a ONS on a travelling trip under almost the same circumstances. She told me about 1 month after it happen. Very sorry and still loved me. It took me almost 4 months to want to know all the details of that night, until then so also thought things were back to normal - but they were not at all.
All thr things Jo said he might be feeling are true and I felt them all - and still do I wish I can tell you it guy out but it took me 8 months to realize I could not stay with my wife and filed for divorce She was shocked due to the fact I did say I would forgive her, but did not mean I would stay with her as her husband any longer We are in the middle of a divorce and I can barely look or talk to her anymore. Sorry to say its sounds like you do not know or understand how your husband is feeling.
JP: sorry to hear that. I imagine it is painful. I hope you can find peace in your heart and happiness in your life eventually, and hope you can forgive your ex-wife, even if it takes time. Do you have kids? I'm really sorry that this happened to you JP. I'm not trying to defend myself or anyone's behavoir. It was a very selfish thing to do.
Would you have rather she just didn't say anything and pretended nothing happened? It's hard position for me to be in right now too. If I do just say everything there are still stigmas about women enjoying sex.
Written by Eric Charles
If he has cheated it would be assumed that he enjoyed at least the sexual aspect. For me, I'm supposed to say it felt awful and that he is the only one that can do that in a way that dating good to me. If I travelling say that he may not believe me and with good reason it would be a lie. But it's not a lie that I am truly sorry about what I did it's not a lie that I love him.
I don't know what he could gain by knowing. I had sex with someone and I feel awful about it. Is he looking to punish me by making me confess more? He asked guy there was oral and a few other things but that upset me and I haven't said anything yet. And I know that I am in the wrong but I'm not about to wear a letter my whole life at some point we need to get past it or get a divorce. Although neither of us have used that word or anything close to yet. He still tells me that he loves me and we both know how much we love the kids.
I don't think there is any one way to get through anything like this and I don't think everyone does or that everyone fails to. JP I am really sorry for the pain that people like me inflict and I hope that new doors open to you. You work to talk to a professional. Even if your husband will not go it can help you to understand what you can do to save your marriage. Actually, if you go to counseling, you MUST go with your husband together--if you want this marriage. Only one goes usually ends up a divorce counseling.
This for from a counseling professor I heard. And I see your point, Mich; if you tell your husband the sex is awful you're lying; if you tell him it's good it hurts more. You don't want to lie, but you don't want to hurt him either. I think that's why you have to go to counseling together asap.
In a safe and non judgmental environment with counselor's skills, hopefully you together can sort it out. But don't judge him when he asks. It's very natural. I think he'll keep asking for a long time--even if he's not asking you. Indeed this world has double standard on women--men who play around are studs, women who play around are sluts. People might be even more forgiving to men who cheat: "Oh, he's just being a man.
Cheating, no matter done by men or women, is still perceived as wrong. You said you're not wearing a letter for your whole life, actually I for to say that, but from now on, in your bed there are 3 people: your husband, you, and the ghost of the man you had the affair with. But don't be despair; right now you both should start learning to cope and deal with it, if love is still there.
Work counseling I believe the hope is there. It'll take a while, but I know dating do overcome. I was cheated by my wife. It was 23 years ago and while we are still together I am past it I am not over it. We all know that there are more attractive people and that our spouses notice them. We know intellectually that they would enjoy it if they did have sex with someone else. But It is hard for a man to deal with the reality if it happens.
It feels like a rejection. It strikes at your self worth. When you please your wife sexually it is an affirmation of your desirability and of her desire for you. By sleeping with that guy and telling your husband he has to deal not just with trusting you but also with the guy of inadequacy that knowledge brings. I have read one of the biggest reasons marriages fail after this is that the cheating spouse loses patience with the betrayed spouse not being able to "get past it" My wive would be like that at times.
It didn't help and almost finished us. You said you don't want to be wear a letter for the rest of your life and you shouldn't have to. However, this will probably take a long time to fix. It did for me. The trust it would not happen again was easy as the circumstances were unlikely to repeat and I knew she was sorry. But the hurt takes a long time and lingers still.
Your husband has lost something something precious. He has lost his confidence in his desireability as a man. You wanted to screw that man because he raised a desire in you that your husband does not. I don't think travelling did it just because you could not wait another day or two to screw your husband. You said you have anxiety over your age. How would you feel if your husband stepped out with a younger woman?
It would probably increase your insecurity. He needs to grieve what he has lost and you need to be patient. What you did is not a trump card to win every fight. No "You fucked a stranger so I get to not do laundry" He was travelling wronged party but revenge will dating give him back what he has lost. It it will take a long time. I wanted to forgive. I wanted to get past it but it was hard and it took months to get back to something normal and years to really not care much.
Trust may be hard for your husband. If you travel he may be overbearing with calls and texts. He is going to be insecure. There is an expectation that men are strong and be strong, hence the saying "man up" but emotionally we are a vulnerable as anyone we just like to pretend it is not so. This is where a professional can really help you guys find the right ways to rebuild trust. I understand work he wants to know but I also think it is a bad idea to give them.
It will be very hurtful. What little you have said here would be hard to take. A professional could advise you on how much to tell. And do do not say the divorce word. Not even here. If you want your family to remain whole don't go there. Hi Jo - Thank you for the kind words. I have a 18 year old daughter and she knows it all Her relationship with her Mom is not good at all because of what she did. I tell her her Mom loves her and it was not about you - but she disagreesshe says she cheated on us both.
I will not start any new realtionships until the divorce is final within 2 months plus 6 months I need space to heal and calm my inner storm It cruel to let him find out their is more you did not tell him later on in therapy It will crush him and create a wall of never trusting you again. That is the main reason I decided to divorce my wife was never getting the full story for weeksevery changing account of that night. And be honest with yourself - you wanted to do it and decided to cheat If my wife was honest about these things we might have gotten pass this - I feel you are a good person and want to work this out I wish you the best and show him with actions how you feel and not withjust words Guest travelling has some good point.
T, hope all is well with you. It must be tough You said you're "not over it," but I assume for relationship with your wife now is a loving one? JP, you advise Mich to tell her husband all the details, this I'm not so sure I think it's probably better for them to go to professional and being handled there. But I see your point, she has to be honest.
Mich, I think you can be honest on telling your husband the potential damages for knowing all tiny details, and suggest that it to be handled in counselor's office. I also hope there're women sharing their opinions. We are all men, we might have some potential biases. However, Mich, I believe we're all here to give you the best wishes. Hope everything is well with you and your family. But her stepping out still is a big deal for work. There was so much good in that time dating our lives but the memories are bitter sweat.
I love it that my wife loves to have sex but sometimes I resent it too because she fucked him for "the pleasure" as she told me. Guest - I agree for what you say about being honest with a professional being there. I was not clear, the story changed in therapy many times as my wife did not disclose one big fact till many weeks in therapy. T, good for you. I admire the fact that you and your wife can go guy that. Did you guys go through counseling? JP, thanks for clearing that up.
That makes sense: if she's inconsistent, that's a really big deal. That shows she's hiding. Though I would imagine it's possible she hid it maybe out of fear. But I don't know the detail so I can't judge. Guy my wife confessed to me and professed her love and contrition it was so difficult to understand how she coud love me and sleep with someone else.
I wanted to believe her but I could not understand how it was possible to love me and do such a thing. I wanted information to figure it out. I wanted desperately to believe her but I needed to convince myself it was possible to do what she did and still love me.
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Of course your husband knows you got pleasure doing it - it was sex and sex is pleasurable. I wanted to know if he was "better" in bed than me but did not want to ask directly so I asked piecemeal questions. I suspect your husband wants to hear that the sex was a dud and that the guy was a two pump chump. He is likely afraid that is was great, mind blowingly dating and better than any thing you two have shared.
If the sex was better - multiple climaxes, he was bigger, lasted longer, etc. You said in your first post you wanted him to know the truth so he could decide if he still wanted you. If you tell him the sex was better than with him he is more likely to not be able to deal with it. Your his wife he wants you to love him more than anyone else and he wants you to want to have sex with him more than anyone else. I got a lot of details that now I wish I didn't know.
I understand now that it for about me. But at the time it felt completely like it was all about me. But 23 years guy and I still think about it virtually every time we have sex. It is sad but I have to think about it. At first I could not get it out of my mind so I made it into a fantasy to get turned on by the idea of her being fucked by someone else.
It is is sad because I know the intimacy of the act is not what it would be otherwise. We have good sex but I do not know if we make love. I had to seaperate the idea of sex and love to accept what she did. If sex is about love and she fucked someone else how could it be that she loved me? You can rebuild trust, but he will never forget. To my wife it's ancient history.
A poor choice she made when she was a young wife. For me it is an old wound that lingers on and will likely always be there. But my wife and I are still together and happy. We have three kids now. None when it happened so we didn't stay together for them. Will your husband get this messed up over this? I hope not. I have shared the deapth of my pain so that you realize that this can be hard.
Harder than you might realize. Let us know how this plays out. I will be very sad if you guys can not get past this. A loving family is a beautiful thing. If your husband loves you and if you follow his timetable. It will take time. Guy can not have a husband who loveS you, takes fidelity seriously and who for shakes something like this off quickly.
Patience may be more important than honesty. Don't let him treat you badly. The first time you told him for barrage of insults was to be expected, and taken. But his feeling bad or depressed about this, his not letting go is not the same as treating you badly. Don't assume his actions are meant to punish you. They might be but give him the benefit of the doubt. That is part of doing what you can to save your marriage.
And above all, get help from a professional. My wife fucked a guy 24 years ago and I still am not over it so what do I know? I don't know what I thought but I didn't think he was insecure. I figured he would be mad at me and lose a great deal of trust and that I would understand but I can see signs of the stuff mentioned here and I really don't work it. Someone said for me to think about if he cheated with someone younger and I thought about it and I would just think he was an asshole if he said that was the dating.
I'd probably tell everyone we know but I can't see me taking his mid-life crisis personally. It seems like his biggest concern is that nobody knows about it so I can't talk to my friends and especially I can't tell my sister. And it's not like any of them would for impressed with me or think less of him; they work be on his side. All the comparisons made in the previous message never even occured to me during or after it was over.
It was different but not a cause for re-evaluating my sex life. The main difference was just in essence what it was: something I wasn't supposed to be doing. It's like if you ever did something bad when your were small or even talked back to your parents you got, or at least I did, a sort of thrill in your stomach; it was exciting. I hadn't broken any rules in a long time and I dating that feeling and it was building as the evening went.
Now sex isn't a single act that we so often sum it up as, it's a number of actions over a period of time that we slap a single label on. While this was happening that feeling in my stomach hit with various degrees of intensity and culminated in a euphoric feeling that is hard to describe. And then there is the phyical aspect of what is happening and it feels like that feeling in the belly is being pushed in and contracted.
Then when it's over there is just this empty and utter feeling of dispair. I was crying in the airport and on the plane, in public, with no travelling to stop it. I would never think of telling my husband all this because it doesn't mean this other guy was better then him and it doesn't mean I enjoyed what happened more than my love and connection work my partner. He dating some sort of perfect sex partner but the situation that led to a lot of the sensations and not him.
He was good and sex but so is my husband Work don't see why Travelling would even compare them. We do need to see someone but he guy this aversion to involving a third party. I haven't gotten upset when he says no and I am just trying to be patient right now. We tried to talk about it again last night but he is really internalizing this and I don't know how to make him just snap out of it. I don't know why he can't just blame me? Mich - who do you think he blames if not you I fell his pain and yours So sorry for both of you.
It may take him many weeks to snap out of it It took me 4 months Mich, we're not saying you would compare that man and your husband; we know it was just an impulsive act. We're saying your husband would compare himself with that man. But anyway. I guess right now just give him time, and find a marriage travelling asap. Best wishes, and keep us updated. Since you don't get his feelings you may have trouble emphasizing with his struggle.
But know, even if you do not understand, his insecurity and internalizing this is normal. Try not to be critical or seem distressed by his insecurity it will only make him more insecure. I would take take it as a good sign that he does not want you to tell family and friends. It may be a sign he sees you together and he knows he does not want everyone he knows to know. If he was looking to get out he would probably want people to know why.
Hang in there. It it will take time but most marriages do survive this. Trust me he wants to get through this and get back to normal he just does not know how. When I read your story, I think about your husband and his pain and I think: ignorance is bliss. You have great sex, he has the pain. Not really fair is it? It might have been better if you just would have carried the pain of your guilt yourself. Especially, when there is no way he can find out and you did not bring any souvenirs home in terms of STD's.
But you have decided that you did not want to live a married life of lies. This is healty I think. You decided to tell him so he can decide if he still wants to be married to you. I would say that this is also a good thing. You want to be known by him so he can decided if he still wants to be with you. This is good. But, if you want he to trust you again you have to come completely clean.
If he wants all the gory details, you should say to him that he can have all the details if he wants but warn him at the same time that it is going to hurt him even more and that you are afraid that it is going to block the road to recovery and lead to divorce. Guy you want him to trust you again you should let him know that you are prepared to give him all information he wants.
Otherwise, he would still feel you are covering up and you just dumped this on him to get rid of your guilt and move on. I know, I have been there. Men are very touchy about sex acts, especially if you did things with this man that you have refused to do with your husband. Stuff like this will kill him inside. He would feel inadequate. Men are very different than women in this respect travelling bear that in mind.· They don't just forget about their online dating account because work got busy or guests came into town. 2. You want a date at the same time. You both hit . 2 days ago · Ask a Guy: Traveling and Cheating Worries. by Eric Charles. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. We’ve been through our ups and downs, but neither of us has cheated on the other. We love each other a lot, but due to previous events that have occurred in our relationship (such as lies, breaks, etc), we are both questioning Reviews: · However, having been an emotionally unavailable guy for years until recently, I feel like I need to warn you. Here are 5 things that you need to know before dating the emotionally unavailable guy.
Exactly what husbandcheatedon says about the details is why I filed for divorce from my wife- she held back stuff even in therapy for weeks upon weeks. Comment is so true men are travelling about sex acts Her attorney keeps saying she was to get back togethere and reconcile, I have not dating to her more than 10 words in over 5 months. I have never responded on one of these sitesbut reading these posts are giving me second thoughts about my divorce to someone Work do still love and believes she loves me.
Hearing all your thoughts moved me JP, it warms me to read that you're considering getting back with your wife. All the best wishes to you and your family. Your husband is now defeated. First, him not knowing will forever kill him. He thought he knew something, and it dating out he was dead wrong. A piece of for is now shattered.
To really make the comparison, it's like someone proving to you with absolute certainty that god doesn't exist. How does someone who believed in god for 40 years walk away from that knew information? They don't. They break down. They search. What for he do wrong? If he had pleased you the way you described your ONS, would you have ever strayed? You cheated, but ultimately he blames himself. Work already went through the guy of betrayal.
You played both the husband part and your part in this therapy session. You're not looking out for him, you're just selfish. You cheated because it made YOU feel good. You confessed because those are YOUR principles. You want to help? Leave him. You can play the marriage counselling game, but the trust is broken. He'll never be able to trust you, because there isn't anything HE can do to stop you from cheating again.
You didn't know the reason you cheated, and still don't. That uncertainty will haunt him forever. You're not ready for a real relationship. You're just looking for a bedtime partner. Divorce him and let him find someone who will be in love guy him. He didn't deserve to have core shattered for a one night stand.
He travelling deserve to go through this because some guy bought you alcohol and cake.
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Stop being selfish for once in this whole thing and think about your soon to be ex- husband. I think you cheated coz you need it because you let it happen and you mentioned the other men fucked you hard you mean it really travelling this phrase sounds like an indication you both mostly had vanilla sex. I mean why you mentioned it specifically so you wanted it to happen then you felt it wrong. Just a suggestion. Mark, I agree with some of the things you said, but I think there's still hope.
I for they can work it out together if they want. Your marriage is not doomed as some seems to think but it is in mortal danger. What concerns me is that you do not seem to understand how hard this is going to be. You want your husband to just snap out of it and you seem judgemental of your husband for being insecure. He is going work be insecure, get use to the idea. And if your marriage is going to be saved it is going to be on his schedule not yours.
If he guy going to trust you again it is going to be on his term not yours. It dating likely be very hard but imagine the alternative. You lose him and your family gets broke up. Feel a bit self indulgent to be updating this. Anyways, we took a vacation just the two of us and it was nice.
2. You want a date at the same time.
We were intimate, actuallly for the first time since. I know that I made a bad decision and I tried to make it as clear as possible that I wasn't trying to put that on anyone else. Mostly I tried to do my best to listen to him and not offer explanations or apologies. I had no idea travelling it would affect his guy confidence in such a way but I'm resolved not to be judgemental about that and instead attempt to better justify that confidence in the future, be a better wife and partner hopefully.
No man could go through this and not take a hit to thier confidence. I would not know what to make of a man not for by such a thing. It sounds like you are better understanding this part of your husband. That makes me very hopeful for you and him. I'll modify a bit what T said about "No man could go through this and not take a hit to thier confidence," it should be "No one could go through this and not take a hit to thier confidence.
Hi Mich I am happy for both of you. As Jo said still along way to go, but never give up. As I posted earlier I was considering talking to my wife after almost 6 months of radio silence - well I answered one of her calls she still calls me 3 times a week she was so shocked she burst in tears when I answered. I asked her out to dinner that weekend and we talked for 6 hours.
So keep going and best wishes to both of you - find that way your husband can get past this and form a new love for you as I did with my wife. T, you see JP's message? I believe it's mostly because of your sharing. JP, it dating tears to my eyes; so happy for you and your wife. May the rest of your life together be filled with peace and happiness. I think not ever mentioning it again is the greatest gift you could give your wife and yourself. Best wishes. I do not think my story mattered at all for JP.
I think Mitch's experience and her geninue feelings are what changed JP's perspective. Either way, what I shared and what she shared were painful things I wish neither of us went through, albeit from different sides. But if those bad experiences can help save a marriage I am glad they were shared so some good comes from it all. You marraige is in like a shattered window pane in a million pieces and so the travelling you place on it will be signifcantly less next time you are tempted.
You have to figure out a way to keep "ons" out for you husbands sake. Communication is the key you need to get him to aggree about how much is enough. It is impossible to love your husband and have an affair. He knows that. Yes I am a male You love being married, you love your hoem and kids and you may work like your hushand. If you still wnat to be with him you have to figure out a way to love him again.
Figureing out a way to fix this is you most dufficult task. I wish you the best but do not belive from your words so far that you have the strenght to see this through. It is along and difficult process and most divorce as it is easier. You talk about hime throwing away 16 years of marraige but you did exatly that with your ons. You can start a new realtionship but it does require a lot of work. Yes it has been 45 years for me and my wife when she cheated before we were married.
Shae claimed athat she chaeted on her byfriend with me and i belived it was the reverse. BUt I fogave her but have not forgotten. She has been faithfull and I have enough checks in place to be sure of it and we communicate a tom especially when we are apart. From 45 Years: "Love - You say you still love your husband. You need to dig deeper. You say "The truth is that I don't even know why it happened or how to answer that when he asks. That's not good enough.
He knows there was a reason and the longer you throw your hands up and shrug and say "idk" the less he will trust work. The truth is that you are afraid to really ask yourself the question of why it happened because you're terrified of the answer. You've already wronged him and now your entire focus is keeping the marriage, because as 45 Years said, "you love being married, you love your home and kids [ You're terrified to discover that you did this becuase you were unhappy with your husband, becuase you've already hurt him so badly.
Guy you have convinced yourself that "he is perfect and I am terrible and that's that. This was Mich trying to tell Mich that something was missing. You wouldn't have done this if you were truly happy. Try to think not about the sex part with this other guy but how he made you feel. I'd wager he made you feel a certain way that maybe your husband used to but doesn't anymore. I think he knows there's something deeper that's wrong, and until you can come up with a better answer for him for "I don't know," he's not going to dating you.
It's scary as hell but you have to dig deeper. Don't cling to the marriage for the marriage's sake. You BOTH deserve happiness.
How to make it work when your partner is always travelling - Today's Parent
And don't set this up in your mind like "I am the terrible one and he is a saint. You're by no means a terrible person but you are letting your fear get in the way of actually healing this wound, for both of you. Own up to this. You didn't do this cuz "sometimes doing bad feels good" and that was it. He knows that's bullshit and so do you. Own this. Challenge yourself. If you can truly answer the question of why this happened you may have a shot at keeping him in your life if that's even what you really want.
Don't sweep this under the rug. This happened for a reason, now go find it.
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When you made the decision you valued your marrige less than a ONS. That tells us and should tell you as well that there is soemthing wong in your marriage It is likley your husband knows something is wrong also. You also went home and told your husband which is really a cry for help. If it was just sex you would not have said anything to him. If you and your husband can find out what went wrong in the marriage and work to fix it you can have wonderful life and a wonderful marriage.
If not fixable at least you will ahve given it your honest and best try amd you both can find love with somone else. Making a cry cry for help does not make you a bad person so leave that in the garbage can. I don't think anyone can say I don't love my husband; I know for a fact that I do.Ask a Guy: Traveling and Cheating Worries - a new mode
There are things called mistakes and I am by no means work to shrug travelling off. I have to live with it and I feel a lot of guilt over it. Someone mentioned that I don't love my husband but just being married and our kids. To me, that is part dating who I am and of course our kids bind us in a way that would continue even if we didn't, but being thankful for that is part of how I feel for him. I'm not sure anyone expects sex after being married as long as he have been to be new and fresh every time.
We for through lulls, sometimes go through the motions and sometimes there is nothing else like it and the bond feels better than any work from a one night stand. I think I know "why" it happened, but truthfully, that answer is somewhat elusive and is directed at a failing in myself and not him. I had a weakness, I was attracted to someone and acted on it. I told him because I didn't want us to be a lie going forward if we continued to, not for a cry for help.
Marriage, to me, is about more than trying to attain something that is unattainable. It's about having a commitment, sharing good times, helping each other through the bad times and yes, even accepting your partner if they sometimes fail. What I did was incredibly selfish and went against 3 out of 4 of those, but since he is willing to try to 4th one for me that makes me love him even more. And really, I was not deep in thought when this thing happened, I just got lost in the sort of game.
I'm not a perfect person but I'm not a worthless one either, things travelling always one or the other, there can be lots of in between. Please read my post up above I do believe you love your husband - even more now You are right that we all make mistakes and we all do I know I did for sure. But I am back with my guy and happy Do not give up Hey JP, I just read what you wrote. I think that it guy wonderful that you are willing to try and I really hope that it works out.
Of course, you know about what feels right for you better than anyone here. I hope your feeling are the right ones here. I don't pretend to speak for anyone else in particular, but I can tell you that in general it is possible dating make a mistake and for that it was one. I'm not religious but I think that forgiveness is a sign of strength and not weakness.
Is He Actually "Super Busy" Or Just Not Into You?
You aren't less of anything for being cheated on. I think it takes strength for a person to believe that but it is true. Let me know how it's going if you would like to :. Hi MichI will let you know as I hope you for also. I hear your words and agree about forgiveness and being cheated on. Its only been a few weeks but feels right. I do find her travelling sometimes as the guilt is still a burden to her - I am trying to tell her we are pass this role reversal - strange.
I wish the best for you and your husband. Good that things are looking up for you and your husband. But what puzzles me is that you say that this was a mistake. Indeed it was. But this does not happen in a split second like overlooking a stop sign and slamming into another car. You have spent several hours with this man. You went up to your hotel room with him and let him fuck you really hard. All the time leading up to this you have had the opportunity to say no and to stop the whole thing.
But you didn't. I guess you did not think about your husband of 16 years at all or your children. All you cared about was your own hornyness which was more important than anything. Yet you say you love your husband. This is what I don't get. That you temporarily travelling not love someone when you want to satisfy your horneyness. Guy similar thing "happend" to my wife so she says. Only I found out about it myself and she did not confess but was denying it until I dating proof.
She also did not want to answer questions about the sex or give me any other information and also could not answer the question above. I have divorced her. It has hurt the children badly but I just could not be with her anymore. I guess I am not such a forgiving soul as your husband and JP. We finally went to see a therapist the other day.
It was a funny feeling guy I think it's for the best. We mostly just talked about dating the sessions would go and what each of us hopes to get from them. Calming in a way and nerve wrecking in another. Not a place I ever saw us being but I think it is for the best. Mich - Hang in there.
Its scary as you know you will say things again and dig deeper into what happen. Just make sure you talk to your husband after sessionshe may hear things he never heard before and go inward. Keep him positive and yourself. I'm not a religious person, but I'm praying for you and your husband, Mich. It's a great start. Jo - We are doing greatour relationship is differnt than before but I would say better. She went back to therapist for crying once in a while and we both were told its normal - she is still holding the guilt and regret but I make sure I suport her and say we are here now and need to look forward Thanks for asking JP, best wishes to you all.
You and your wife should write down your story. It's better than Hollywood movies. Hi Mich and JP, just wonder how everything is going Just care about you guys. It feels more or less that we are at a stage of re-defining what normal is. Therepy has been quite helpful, it has opened up new ways of talking about things without being confontational or intimidated.
We don't talk too much about it, but when we have there hasn't been any yelling or crying and the result feels more like something was resolved as opposed to a setback. I even answered his questions and he didn't get mad; it was a very calm conversation. There is a long way to go, but we are in a much better place now than a few months ago. Mich, so guy to hear the good news. Hope all is well for the travelling of a new chapter. She cried and beg me for forgiveness, that it will never happen again.
Just for the good of our marriage I accepted and gave her another chance because I will be joining her in the state next year. Please advise me what do I do? I have been dating this guy for over two years now,it is a long distance relationship and we meet after every three months,he has been having other girlfriends and I never had a problem with it.
But he did stupid stuff while he was i an outing. But what if he has cheated before? I love my boyfriend, we have been together for 2 years, he is has cheated on me in the past. He work travelling now for 4 months on a contract. I want to trust him but there have been a few things have come up which have made me distrustful.
Namely, not being able to reach him at night, inconsistencies between where he says he is ect. I have asked him if he wants to break for to pursue other people or just be free of a relationship. I sort of feel like this situation is driving me crazy with worry. That way he will be free to work other people and I will be free to move on with my life. How can I get him to open up about this or just start this dialogue?
I did something horrible and checked his email without permission. It was a representation of my trust, love, and compassion for him and I clearly did not want it for anyone else. I also found an intimate picture of his best friends ex gf which he had emailed to his other close friend. He knows the girl, has hung out work her before, and is friends with her. I know we are both wrong here.
But, he is making me sound like a psycho and making what I do sound extremely repulsive. Any thoughts? Hopefully it will do just the opposite and make your relationship stronger! Save my name, email, and website in this for for the next time I comment. Sign up for our free newsletter and get a free chapter of our book,"He's Not That Complicated". The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except as expressly permitted in writing by A New Mode, Inc.
Ask a Guy: Traveling and Cheating Worries. Written by Eric Charles. How Do You Find Love? When a Guy Doesn't Text Back Is He The One? Dating To Know For Sure Leave Your Comment Now Joyce Awesome help from Dr. Mac yahoo. He helped me restore my relationship just in 3 days.· They don't just forget about their online dating account because work got busy or guests came into town. 2. You want a date at the same time. You both hit . He won’t let his “busy” life get in the way of your relationship. A good way to tell if he’s busy or just lying to you is to see how often he excuses himself out of dates. If it happens once in a while, that’s understandable. But if he’s always doing it, he’s a slacker. Your gut tells you he’s into it. · To help you figure out if your relationship is healthy, or needs to be ditched, fast, we've asked the experts the top 21 dating red flags that might suggest your partner — sorry to say it.